Today I am 5 weeks pregnant*. Paul-John and I have known for about two and half days, but we haven't told anyone yet. Once we start telling family and friends we will direct them here. It will be nice for them, in the future, to be able to read about details that I am sure I won't remember as clearly, and it is nice for me right now to have a place to sort of get stuff out - it is kind of weird not being able to tell anyone.
While I am very sure about the decisions we have made on when we will start telling people, it feels a little weird keeping it a secret. Take for instance yesterday: my mom came over for dinner, only two days since we found out. During the course of the evening she had me watch not one, but two online videos of babies laughing, and had a long conversation about how if she had to choose, she would rather be blind than deaf because babies laughing is one of her favorite sounds in the world. Needless to say, I was feeling pretty awkward.
One thing that I know many people will wonder, but probably not everyone will ask, is whether this was planned or a surprise. It is sort of in between. Last month (yup, just last month) we decided that we didn't want to start actively trying to conceive, but that we would stop trying not to. Only several weeks later, and here we are. Surprising, but not a surprise.
Paul-John and I are both still trying to absorb this information. We are both happy and excited, but shocked. For me, I think one of the things contributing to the surreal feelings of this experience is the fact that I have yet to have any pregnancy symptoms beyond not getting a period and seeing the "+" on a stick (twice). Not that I am looking forward to nausea either, but I just don't feel pregnant yet.
Stay tuned for more updates!
*5 weeks, in the standard way of counting from the beginning of the last monthly period, meaning that the first 2 weeks of those 5 weeks, I was not actually pregnant. This makes no sense to me.
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